I have been thinking about this for a long time if I suppose to do that or not?! Should I let post this article or not… For a few weeks there is still some small unfinished article which is sitting right here and sadly staring at me. For these ongoing days I am write more into my own personal notepad instead of blog. My inner inspiration has been traveling around the world before it finally found its way back to me to my heart. But after all I decided I am going to share my feelings with you. If this is going to help at least one of you to achieve your own dreams than this article fulfilled its own meaning! 😉
Thoughts upon these which I stop those thoughts brings me on the other side and fulfill me with joy and happiness. I am listening how people look at me, how is the sound of the nature itself, how this or that person would like to live by my own rules. They are impressed by my freedom or the way I live and enjoy my life. But to achieve that I needed to change myself, change my thinking and re-build my whole life.
First of all, I had to change my weakness into my strength. Live is fight but it is worth it! Remember that…
In this moment I am not looking for excuses but finding the ways HOW… Difference is I do not have to debate and thinking it about hours. But nobody cannot see it. I had to work out for my own results as well. Every single way of living, every lifestyle has the other side of coin as well. That side which nobody wants to see. Their own weakness in life.
Recently one friend of my told me: “You are beautiful, successful, intelligent, only the health you left behind…! Well, you cannot have everything!”
And I agree. You cannot have everything. And my weakness in life is the health. The health which nobody can gives you and still, every one of us need it. You can hire a person to get a job done or whatever you need but nobody could be hired for staying in hospital instead of you. There is not such a secret that my live has been enriched about Crohn’s disease which is incurable.
Crohn’s disease is a type of inflammatory bowel disease that may affect any part of the gastrointestinal tract. Mostly between small and large intestine. There is no need to fight against it. It could be even worse. It is better to find a way to live with it. This disease includes sitting on the toilet, pain in your stomach, diet, eating pills, taking vitamins and limitations and risks are part of it as well. Sitting in a waiting room in a hospital for a regularly check out, operations, withdrawing of blood, injections, infusions and being on monitors and eyes of doctors and specialists. There is no other way than expect my illness as a part of my daily life. I must live according habits of this illness. If I would to have count all these hours which I spend with doctors and specialists, it would be at least half of my entire life even though I live with this disease only third of my life.
So it is more than 10 years now where we are building sand castles together. I am not hiding it. After all of these years I know what I can afford it and what cannot. I am quite straight and honest if anyone wants to talk about it. I learned the way to live with it. I am not saying it is easy and fun. Sometimes is quite limited and difficult factor in my life. On the other side I do not wish this one to anyone. Not even to my worst enemy. It is not what you want to have in your live, but you better find a way to live with it, find the way to collaborate in live and on your journeys.
Anyone who seek the way than will found it. And respond to any action to own prosperity.
On the other side this illness taught me a lot. I learned that I have to slow down a lot. So, for a person like me it was a huge problem. I am not that type of the person who is able to stay at the same place or lying on the beach for a week or lie in bed for more than 2 days. It is ongoing fight against myself and my patience. On the other side it takes me only a while to get up my feet’s and work again. Well, then I am quite shocked how the trains went far, and I have to go after them. In a moment where there is no other way, then my disease comes back again and show me it cannot be done by this way. The beginning of the magic infinite triangle.
My inner circle already gets used to my interesting lifestyle. On the adventure of my life with ongoing incredible speed. They take the way it is and how I am. They say with their smile that my lifestyle is quite busy and wild. They are not surprised. It would not be me if I only read the travel books and watching the television about the traveling destinations…
“You are either in hospital or travel somewhere around the world whenever I call you. There is no place for anything expect those two things!”
So you are not scared to leave on vacation for such a long period of time with your illness? What are you going to eat there? What if something happens to your tract? Who is going to help you? Honestly? I AM NOT SCARED! First of all I do not even want to admit it. I would rather live my life with joy and fulfillment than lying on couch in my house and do not know what to do with Crohn’s disease. Behind any minute which I am in hospital I imagine and can’t wait being on the airport and standing in a gate for next adventure. Where is will there is a way. Not even take disease is an obstacle for makes the dreams come true. And my life is a living example of this proof. 🙂